Day 10 Settling In: Befriending Changes

"Yesterday I was clever so I wanted to change the world. 

Today I am wise so I am changing myself." --Rumi

"The secret of change is to focus all your energy, 

not on fighting the old, but on building the new." --Socrates

" A bird doesn't sing because it has answers. It sings because it has a song."

--Maya Angelou

"We do not need magic to change the world, we carry all the power we need

inside ourselves already:  we have the power to imagine better." J.K. Rowling

Today I'm working from a different angle. In recognizing that the changes in our lives is probably going to last longer than any of us would like, it seems to me the best thing I can do is to find ways to make life where I am, fit the changing needs of required to remain healthy and somewhat balanced in body, mind, spirit, and emotions.  Moved from my bedroom where I usually write in the mornings, into a nice, sunny spot in the living room. Instead of insisting on quiet in order to write, today I have a soundtrack going on. A lot of beautiful, uplifting music from a concert in Brazil. I took the lead for these changes over the last couple of days, from my cat buddy, Frederico.  

My constant companion, Frederico kept letting me know he wanted to play more, so I'd come into the living room to play with him, and after a while, he'd spend more time in here waiting for me to come play, and I'd miss him, and go looking to see where he'd gone. You do this kind of thing when the only other sentient being in the house, disappears. Normally a person at home with my solitude, this isolation seems so much different because we have little choice in the matter. If we want to lower the curve of the spread of the epidemic, and protect ourselves and our neighbors, friends, and families, it's the least we  can do. And some of us are still getting up every day and going out to the front lines to do the essential work to help the rest of us stay put until we've weathered this storm. We want to make each other's live safer, healthier, and better. 

As I prepared to write, I noticed that I've created some new routines, patterns, and rituals for myself over the last month. It's now been one month since I last felt it was wise to go out without taking some precautionary steps.  In that time, I kept trying to make my routines and patterns more intentional and geared to preserving resources, increasing strength, keeping myself healthy and well rested, and maintaining connection with my family and close friends.  My Daughter, Granddaughter and I check in with each other daily, and have taken to Zoom to have nightly gatherings to unwind from the day, to share some laughter, and make sure each other is doing okay. 

What are some of the changes you've made to your way of living through the storm? 

I've taken up an old habit I had in the days when my life was busier than it is now; menu planning and grocery lists. It's become a necessity now. Last week my close friends and relatives have made sure to contact one another to contact information and to check in with each other to see what might be needed. I've been trying to get myself on a good sleeping schedule even though that's hard sometimes. Taking time away from social media and highly energy-depleting activities late in the day enables me to go to sleep with less stress.  Establishing an evening ritual of inspirational reading, calming music/meditation, prayer, and even writing down anything that may be on your mind. It might be a list of chores for tomorrow or thoughts you're worried about or ideas you have for a project. Get it out of your mind onto paper/record it, so that you don't carry it into your sleep. 

How are you seeking balance and calm at this time?

Gifts in the Garbage.  When I was first returning to graduate school, I was wary of one of the fields I had studied in my undergraduate years--psychology. When I studied and worked in the field, there was a false dichotomy made between religious/spiritual ideas and those of psychology and psychiatry. When I entered the field of Pastoral counseling, I was afraid of how I'd manage to make peace with this.  One of the first seminars I took we were assigned a book by Gerald May, psychiatrist. I opened it with some scepticism, but found myself in the most beautiful company of a soul friend (anam cara as John O'Donohue would say). Today I'm sharing some of his thoughts here. I encourage you to wander through your book shelves or music collection and find the voices that speak to you, Now is the time to look for good company, 

Gerald May  

Gerald G. May quotes Showing 1-30 of 90

“There is a desire within each of us,
in the deep center of ourselves
that we call our heart.
We were born with it,
it is never completely satisfied,
and it never dies.
We are often unaware of it,
but it is always awake.

It is the Human desire for Love.
Every person in this Earth yearns to love,
to be loved, to know love.
Our true identity, our reason for being
is to be found in this desire.

Love is the "why" of life,
why we are functioning at all.
I am convinced
it is the fundamental energy
of the human spirit.
the fuel on which we run,
the wellspring of our vitality.

And grace,
which is the flowing,
creative activity, of love itself,
is what makes all goodness possible.

Love should come first,
it should be the beginning of,
and the reason for everything.”
― Gerald May, Living in Love

“Many of the old understandings to which I had been addicted were stripped away, leaving a desertlike spaciousness where my customary props and securities no longer existed. Grace was able to flow into this emptiness, and something new was able to grow. Fresh understandings took root, and the insights that emerged were clearer, simpler, and more beautiful.”
― Gerald G. May, Addiction and Grace: Love and Spirituality in the Healing of Addictions

“Similarly, grace seeks us but will not control us. Saint Augustine once said that God is always trying to give good things to us, but our hands are too full to receive them. If our hands are full, they are full of the things to which we are addicted. And not only our hands, but also our hearts, minds, and attention are clogged with addiction. Our addictions fill up the spaces within us, spaces where grace might flow.”
― Gerald G. May, Addiction and Grace: Love and Spirituality in the Healing of Addictions

“The greatest commandments are not obligations at all, but affirmations of grace. They are promises that with our willing assent, grace will make possible the triumph of full, unfettered love within us.

Our assent, our yes, finally comes from nothing other than our own yearning, from passion itself. It may surface temporarily as desire for self-improvement, functional efficiency, moral virtue, or social justice, but ultimately it will take us beyond and beneath all such ends. Love will bring us to our ever-present beginning, where our only reason for saying yies is simply that we want to.

Here it is only our plain desire that makes true assent possible: the desire to respond to a larger love already given, the desire to love and to be loved and to be fully, consciously present in love as an end in itself. It is a matter of simple caring, our hearts aching for the fullness of love for no other reason than its own essential goodness. In this simple, exquisite longing, awakening in each precious moment, we know who we really are. It is a likeness of God.”
― Gerald G. May, The Awakened Heart: Opening Yourself to the Love You Need

MUSIC SOOTHES THE SOUL. WHAT IS YOUR BACKGROUND MUSIC THESE DAYS?

After listening to a Brazilian music all morning, I found this blast from the past. Sharing it here for you to enjoy. Find what brings you some healing, happiness, joy, or release and let your music heal you, inspire you, and fill you up. 

Leon Russell's First Video