Day 11 Adapting to Change

“  well-adjusted person is one who makes the same 

mistake twice without getting nervous.”

--Alexander Hamilton

Psalm 94:19 When anxiety was great within me, your consolation brought me joy.

Matthew 11: 28-30  28 “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. 29 Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”

Thoughts to Contemplate

For perhaps the first time in human history, at least that we are all so conscious of and aware of, everyone on the planet is sharing the same kind of experience. Each of us is having a different kind of experience within this time of the pandemic, but we share in many of the same concerns. While many of us may be able to maintain contact with one another, others are not. Some of us are separated from our loved ones, while others are with them, 24-7.  Each of us have different ways we are both responding to (handling in a more positive way) and reaction to (handling in a less than positive way). For example, some have risen to the occasion to reach out and try to meet the needs of others by serving on the front lines.

The front lines being our medical facilities, emergency responders, those who keep our food chain moving from the fields to the warehouses across the highways to our local grocery stores. The grocery stores and all who work there who are constantly trying to adjust the way they operate to protect the communities and the workers. There are countless people who are keeping the world in operation right now, and there are millions more who are staying put where they are.

We all share one thing in common, and that is this is not easy for anyone. Especially those who are ill and their families and medical communities who care for them. Others of us though are struggling with more existential issues. Missing our family and friends. Missing our freedom and ability to move around freely. Some enjoy their solitude, while others are quite uncomfortable with it. This is a time when perhaps we are going to discover what our breaking points are. We may be discovering that though we enjoy being home, we can also get antsy or weary of the patterns we’ve already fallen into.

When we are coping with ongoing stress, and believe me, what we are experiencing is stressful, there are some things we need to understand.

Stress affects everyone. There is routine, daily kinds of stress related to responsibilities and work/home life. Some stress is brought on by sudden, negative shifts that affect your routine and life. Traumatic stress comes about when some kind of major event takes place that threatens to endanger your life. Some people manage traumatic stress, but others do not. It has lasting effects. Currently, we have stress on all three levels and therefore, we must find ways to cope with our stress in order to maintain our well being.

Not all stress is negative.  Stress reactions are a way that our body warns us of danger. The reactions are involuntary (rapid breath, feeling of panic, muscles tense, our entire brain and body go on high alert to react to protect ourselves. We cannot however, live in a constant state of fear or high stress. We can use our practices (prayer, meditation, exercise, music, talking with an understanding friend or counselor, journaling, doing art) to help calm ourselves down.

Long-term Stress can be Unhealthy. The ongoing level of stress we are experiencing personally and collectively, is having an effect on all areas of our lives, especially our health. Coping with it is challenging, and so requires All our systems are affected (immune system, digestion, sleep cycles, cardiovascular system, reproduction, psychological health).

You can Manage Stress. Managing stress requires a daily, ongoing process including:
a. Paying attention to what your body, mind, emotions, and spirit are telling you. Notice when you have trouble sleeping and when you’re apt to resort to unhealthy practices like using food, drugs, alcohol to relieve your stress.
b. Get regular exercise (at least 30 minutes a day). If you’re working from home, give yourself regular breaks and develop a limit to your home work day. Work can be a great way to focus your energy; it can also be a way to ignore your own health and needs. Taking care not to overdo is crucial to managing stress.
c. Include relaxing and enjoyable activities. There are many online offerings. Build in relaxation, entertainment, and pleasure into each day.

d. Make new goals and set priorities The life you had planned, is not going to happen the way you thought it would. Consider how you can make some adjustments to what you’d planned to do. If there are things you just cannot do now, make a list of what you can do and how you might begin doing it. For example, maybe you have always wanted to study another language. Get a study buddy online or sign up for one of the free language aps. Reframe the way you are looking at life for now. We will eventually move beyond this, but right now we need to settle into the life we have now. This reminds me of having to stay put when I broke my ankle. Seven weeks seemed like forever sometimes, but I learned a lot by facing my responses and reactions to having to depend on others for two months, of not being able to go out or walk, and for letting others take care of me. Now we have to learn to do some things for ourselves perhaps, or rely on friends or family to support us. For some it’s quite hard to ask for help. For others it's hard to not be able to do more. Get comfortable with what you miss, and then figure out what you can do with what you’ve got right where you are.

e. Stay Connected. Maintain regular contact with family and friends. If you’re at home with others, make sure you give each other privacy, and ways to express themselves too.Being connected is not just seeing or talking to someone, but is also about paying attention to what you and others feel, need, or require.  Be compassionate with yourself and others.

If you feel overwhelmed, seek out professional help/advice if you need it.

We are all in this together, each having a different experience than others. We do have the capacity to learn how to adapt to even the most difficult situations. We also need to recognize what resources and support we have, and not dwell on that which we cannot do, but rather put our focus, thinking, energy, and time on creating the best possible experience with who we are, where we are now. It’s challenging, but we are up to the challenge.Remember to be kind to yourself, allow yourself to feel what you feel, and find ways to express even the worst feelings, in a constructive way.

Start today by noticing what you’re finding most difficult (as they say, ‘eat the frog first--do the hardest thing or acknowledge the hardest task). Avoid overwhelming yourself by doing anything more than just noticing what is hard.  Like looking at a nightmare, often when we name what we’re afraid of, we take some of the power out of that fear. Try to take a bite out of the bogey monster that’s in your closet today.

Perhaps the most important thing you can do to better care for yourself and others, is to listen to your heart. Listen to the call to connect or pull away, to rest or get active, to scream into a pillow or dance for joy.  Allow yourself to be comforted, guided, and guarded by what speaks directly to you. Let go of needing to please anyone right now or of trying to be 'perfect' with what you're doing. As my friend Maria Desche says, "Be gentle with yourself" my friends. Listen to how Love speaks to you and through others and in the smallest kindness you or anyone else can bestow.

Quotes on Adapting.

“All failure is failure to adapt. All success is successful adaptation.” Max McKeown

“Adaptability enforces creativity; creativity enforces adaptability.” Pearl Zhu

The wise adapt themselves to circumstances, as water moulds itself to the pitcher. Proverb

“Life requires of man [humans] spiritual elasticity so that [we] may temper [our] efforts to the chances that are offered.”  Victor Frankl

“We realize the importance of our voices only when we are silenced.” Malala Yousafzai

My personal credo:  “I believe in being strong when everything seems to be going wrong.” Audrey Hepburn.


Scriptures on Coping with Stress and Conflict

James 1:2-4

 2 Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3 because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. 4 Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.