Day 12 Making Space for Grace

"We cannot do everything, and there is a sense of liberation in realizing that. 

This enables us to do something, and to do it very well. It may be incomplete, but it is a

 beginning, a step along the way, an opportunity for God's grace to enter and do the rest." 

--Oscar Romero

"Just trust yourself and then you will know how to live."  --Goethe

On this Monday, the start of another week of this rather odd and confusing journey, we need to understand that this is the traumatic event that we're trying to figure out how to cope with. The uncertainty and change we've talked about, is now beginning to be a little more familiar, but the strange thing about this experience is, we're in no way alone in trying to figure this out. Everyone on the planet is in some way involved. That though is overwhelming enough, but couple that with our own experiences still being in such flux, in order to cope with this in any kind of healthy or balanced way, we need to create some kind of structure to give us a sense of security.

Why is this so necessary? Think back to a time in your past when you felt unsafe, like the people you were with, you could not trust. It might have been a parent, a friend, a partner, a co-worker, or some other person whose behavior/words threw you off base.  What did you do in that time when you felt most unsafe? If we go way back into your childhood, we find there are some things we discovered or automatically learned to do to protect ourselves. In the most extreme cases, this resulted in some fairly unhealthy reactions. For most of us though, we manage to find more or less acceptable ways of coping with the kinds of upset that the unknown and mistrust leads to.  Some of us threw ourselves into art or scholarship, into our careers, or in working hard to help create a good homelife for our own families. You might find that at this time, you're drawn to read, or sing, or play an instrument, or dance, or do artwork of some type. Others are sewing, knitting, crocheting, quilting, and using this time and their physical skills to find meaningful ways to use their time.

Others, the heroes among us, are on the front lines doing the work to keep our society going, making it possible for us to shelter in our homes, keeping a safe distance from others in an effort to lower the curve of contagion for the whole population. The people who produce, pack, deliver, and sell the goods and food stuffs we need, who deliver essential supplies to the medical facilities--all are experiencing a completely different kinds of conditions, stresses, and reactions

What all of us would benefit from at this point, given we have to get used to not know what the outcomes are going to be for a while longer, is establishing some structure on the lives we are living currently. Whether we are planning for how to shelter in place during the quarantine/period of social isolation, or working hard under stressful conditions, we need to build in some structure. Having primarily worked from home for almost 16 years, I learned how important structure was in organizing my work and balancing the other needs of my life. During a traumatic event like what we're living through, it is even more important. Our sense of time, Our physical orientations and lack of clarity in many areas, Working in a completely different location and manner. Being separated from others, or sharing space with others, we all need to find ways to put some order into our lives.

We all have the need to control something right now. We might have looked to leaders in times past, to be the steadying influence our outlook. Right now that's not the case, so we have to look for trustworthy people and credible, clear information. Today and for the next couple of days, see if you can't find a way to start building a new daily routine to help you meet some of the goals you have. For example, you may want to do more exercise, or make time to connect with friends. I was talking to one friend who, in order to put some order in her life, decided to stop whatever she was doing at 4;00 to have tea and to invite her friends to join her.  I set my computer calendar to remind me of my writing times throughout the day.  Others take a daily walk, or do yoga alone or as part of an online group.

Meal planning and shopping are some of the first ways we attempt to gain some order in our lives. Making menus and shopping lists as well as planning weeky trips to get supplies, might be where you start putting structure in your life. Signing up for lessons, or making a schedule for the week for yourself. However you do this, try to include ways each day to meet a cross section of needs--body, mind, emotions, spirit, imagination. It often helps to stick to set bedtimes when times are as ambiguous as they are now. We need more sleep and rest to handle the stress. Our soul needs to be fed as much as our bodies, so create space in your day for inspiration, prayer, time for contemplation, or meditation. 

Most importantly, take some time to look at what the demands and expectations are for you, and where you're sensing some imbalance.  Think of some small ways to build ways to add more of what you need. Create a bedtime ritual (remember when you said your prayers every night and either sang or listened to soft music?). Turn off the media at least 1/2 hour before going to sleep, and use that time to quiet yourself and find some uplifting inspiration before going to sleep.
Whatever you choose to do to create a bit more structure to bring you some peace, stick with simple and easily achieved goals at first. Have a peaceful start to your week. Release what you can that is not urgent or of real importance right now, and make some room for more of what is going to help sustain, nourish, and inspire you.  Make room for grace to enter your life.

One of my favorite lines from a prayer, "Give us grace for today, feed the famished affections." MBE