Day 6 Living in the Question

“Have patience with everything that remains unsolved in your heart.

...live in the question.”

― Rainer Maria Rilke, Letters to a Young Poet

As the week begins, we cross another threshold of the ongoing changes in our world While we may long for certainty, answers, or some idea of where we are headed, we still remain in a state of uncertainty.  How we manage the uncertainty is testing our mettle.  What is mettle? To test our mettle means to test our courage to carry on. We have just begun to experience how challenging this might be. We are, however, not without hope and precedence in our own lives.

If we spend any time at all in reflection and contemplation, we will find among our memories, the times before when our mettle has been tested. One thing I like to do, is to think back to those difficult times, and remind myself of what I did or experienced then that helped me get through, that helped me find my courage.  I recall one very difficult time when my husband was missing in action during the Gulf War, I was full of rage. I went to reconciliation because I felt so bad about feeling so angry. Nothing before had ever tested my mettle in such a profound way. 

 I sat with the priest on the altar, side by side, and told him, basically, what I just told you.  He said to me, "Well of course you feel angry. It would be impossible for you not to feel such a deep emotion." We then talked together about not being afraid of what we feel, and of course since then I've come to understand that it is the repression of such strong emotions and feelings that has some pretty disastrous results, both for us personally and for us in relationship. Feeling strong emotions is normal, and in fact is something we cannot control. It's part of our natural survival instincts to want to protect ourselves or those we love or those who are vulnerable. What we do with those emotions is what matters. 

Today as we begin a new week, it may be time to look at how we're coping with the changes in our lives now, and spend some time either talking with someone or writing our our thoughts so that we begin to face the facts---the emotional facts of life for us right now. It's not unusual during traumatic events (and rest assured, this is a collective and personal traumatic event) to feel things and think things we have not experienced before. What we do with this information (for that's what it is) is important. Trying to continually put on a brave front, is not going to work in the long run. We need to find ways to express and cope with the changes as we go along, day by day. 

Rather than trying to come up with a 5-year plan, let's start by 'doing it in littles'. I think back to the Mary Kay daily list. I wasn't into Mary Kay cosmetics, but I did love her idea about making a daily list of five items to take care of.  Listing things you could do in the day to help with different parts of your routine, might be a good place to begin. Or for those who've been working non-stop for what seems like forever, maybe it's time to learn to enjoy having less to do and more time to do some of what you've wanted to do. Each of us is going to find we have different kinds of needs. For those of us still working from home, we need to build in new habits and balance personal and professional needs. At this point, taking care of your health and well being should be a high priority. We're going to need to be as healthy as possible for what lays ahead. 

For those familiar with the concept of the Hero's Journey, we are at different stages. Some of us have been preparing for a few weeks or more; others have just begun their social isolation or lock down. Some of us are at home with family; others are far from family or friends, hunkering down alone.  For now let's look at how to create greater balance in the way we're living.  For one thing, I know I have to schedule in regular exercise and make sure I give myself breaks throughout the day. I've been working from home  for the most part, for over 10 years, so I've learned a bit about the need to balance. Give yourself some time to adjust, and notice as you're going along, what is lacking and what you need more or less of. 

One of the most important things we need to do is find that inner warrior...that part of ourselves that helps keep us focused, motivated, and determined to keep on keeping on. You probably have some role models or special inspiration for this inner spirit that keeps you going through the hardest times. I'm fortunate enough to have had some wonderful examples of strength, courage, and tenacity in my life. And I have developed a special devotion to the Blessed Mother. I find great inspiration in the Magnificat of Mary, the magnificat of Mirian (Moses and Aaron's sister; a prophetess, the Song of Deborah, and the Song of Hannah. All of these are prayerful songs meant to encourage (urge others to have courage) in times of great distress.  Music of course is a wonderful way to help calm yourself and others. These canticles though, are meant to help us have courage.

Here is the Magnificat of Mary

“My soul magnifies the Lord,

and my spirit rejoices in God my Savior,

for Divine Love has looked with favor on the lowliness of  servant.

    Surely, from now on all generations will call me blessed;

for the Mighty One has done great things for me,

    and holy is Divine Love's name.

Divine mercy is for those who fear G_d

    from generation to generation.

Divine Power has shown strength with holy might;

     has scattered the proud in the thoughts of their hearts.

 has brought down the powerful from their thrones,

    and lifted up the lowly;

 Divine Compassion has filled the hungry with good things,

    and sent the rich away empty.

Divine Love has helped the servants Israel,

    in remembrance of Divine mercy,

 according to the promise Divine Love made to our ancestors,

    to Abraham and to his descendants forever."

*If you were to write your own magnificat (prayerful song), what would it be?

Inspirational Thoughts of Uncertainty and Patience, two qualities we now are experiencing.

"Patience is not learned in safety."  Pema Chondra

The two most powerful warriors are Patience and Time. --Leo Tolstoy

“I have learned that if you must leave a place that you have lived in and loved and where all your yesteryears are buried deep, leave it any way except a slow way, leave it the fastest way you can. Never turn back and never believe that an hour you remember is a better hour because it is dead. Passed years seem safe ones, vanquished ones, while the future lives in a cloud, formidable from a distance.”
― Beryl Markham, West with the Night. (Markham a British-Kenyan aviator, was the first woman to fly non-stop across the Atlantic from East to West). 

“You are a child of the universe,

no less than the trees and the stars;

you have a right to be here.

And whether or not it is clear to you,

no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.”

― Max Ehrmann, Desiderata: A Poem for a Way of Life

Spiritual Passages

--Isaiah 43:27

"When you pass through rough waters, I will be with you; through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you. When you walk through fire, you shall not be burned, and the flame will not consume you." 

Romans 8:26-27

26 In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans. 27 And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for God’s people in accordance with the will of God.

Phillipians 4 5-7.

5 Let your [b]gentleness be known to all men. The Lord is at hand.

6 Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; 7 and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.

Poetry from Voices of Light: Spiritual and visionary voices by women around the world from ancient Sumaria to now. 

Mcchthild of Magdeburg (1212-1282)

How God Answers the Soul

It is my nature that makes me love you often,/For I am Love itself.

It is my longing that makes me love you intensely/For I yearn to be loved from the heart.

It is my eternity that makes me love you long/For I have no end.

How the Soul Speaks to God

Lord, you are my lover, my longing, my flowing stream, my Sun. And I am your refection.

Today seek simple, small ways to honor and care for that precious Temple that is you, body, mind, emotions, spirit. 

Today I'm preparing and planting my garden. What is on your list today to take care of yourself?

What are some of the questions your are living with? How are you living with uncertainty?