Day 8 Shelter from the Storm

"Blessings sometimes come through brokenness that could never come in any other way." Gerald May


We're all in different places from one another now. Quite literally, we're staying apart from one another. Some of us are used to being more solitary or living at a distance from family and friends. Others of us are not. Some of us live in countries other than our home country or place of birth. Often families are separated by more than miles, and even those of us who live near family, are restricting our contact in order to keep each other safe and healthy.

We live with a great deal of uncertainty right now, and  our usual go-to people and places may not be available to us right now. And we're each in different stages of this ongoing crisis. Some of us have been isolated for nearly 3 weeks, others have just started staying home. And others, the heroes of our lives right now (people who work in healthcare, emergency services, grocery stores and the supply chain, the military, and all who are making certain our lives are as safe and comfortable as we are (utilities, food processing, emergency transportation, and communications), go out every day and put their health in jeopardy so we can stay home, 

Our levels of stress are on the rise, as more of us find ourselves laid off or unemployed or unable to do what we normally do to earn our livings. We're frantically trying to make arrangements to cover our basic needs, while all the while not knowing how we're every going to make it through the sudden losses we've experienced.  There is a lot to be concerned about, and we will spend time doing that. It's normal. And the stress that comes with it is also normal. However, we must do more than just worry or spend all our time and energy trying to figure out how this is all going to work out. We don't have those answers right now. What we do have is the ability to focus our lives, attention, time, and energy on finding some new ways to live with all the questions that will not be answered today.  How do we do that?

The answer to that question is determined by you. By each one of us. We each are discovering parts of ourselves that may seem very familiar or we are realizing that we're experiencing some things for the first time. Some of us 'work well under pressure'; others do not. Some things are painfully reminiscent of the past while other experiences are strange, unfamiliar, and uncomfortable. Just as we've watched our friends and neighbors go through different stages of how they are going to run their own businesses or do their own work given the looming crisis, we too, those of us who are staying home are in the process of ongoing adjustment  to continually changing circumstances. So we each need to acknowledge that we have to work this out in real time; it's probably not going to be like anything we've experienced before. How do we approach this, the adapting to being home, being more isolated, and living with such a high degree of uncertainty? And those of us who have to go out everyday, to keep doing the work we do, how do we manage the ongoing risk and heightened uncertainty we experience? How do we continue to take care of ourselves given the risky nature of our work? 

This is where we need to get creative. How did I know when my friend Mary Lynn and I worked together on research about the psychological impact of creativity on the human spirit, that creativity would take on such an important aspect of my own life and work? What we found those many decades ago was that creativity had little to do with talent but almost everything to do with how we perceived life, the world around us, and ourselves. Being creative is not just about being artistic or crafty or talented. It is about how we approach life and the working out of problems, the way we live day to day, and the way we perceive our role and meaning in light of all with whom we communicate, work with, live with, love or struggle to love, and how we understand who we are in relation to everything going on in our lives and the world in which we live. If a time ever called for us to summon up our most creative selves, that time would be now.

"People frequently believe the creative life is grounded in fantasy. The more difficult truth is that creativity is grounded in reality. in the particular, in the focused, the well-observed and specifically imagined." --Julia Cameron

I would add to Julia Cameron's thoughts, people often believe the religious or spiritual dimension of our  lives is grounded in some amorphous, intangible mysticism.  On the contrary, mystics will tell you, their most mystical experiences arose out of the simple and mundane. Out of the everyday events and out of the most challenging ones. For during the normal course of our days and in the midst of our most frightening and upsetting times, we remain in the most ordinary sense, grounded in the reality of who we are right now. For my own part, I am grounded in the knowledge that I am no longer the 30 year old woman who would be on the front lines doing as much of the heavy lifting and directing of resources as possible. Nor am I in charge of anyone but myself and my cat. And sometimes, well honestly, most times, he's in charge. We must be honest with ourselves though, about who we are at this time.

What is necessary for us today? What do we need to do? What do we need to refrain from doing? As I experience pain in my arm, I know my body is telling me I need to refrain from doing too much repetitive motion. I have to change my behavior to help heal and alleviate pain. We all need to take some time to remind ourselves of what our priorities are and how we might need to adjust them. As I write, I'm very aware of our local hospital laying many of our friends and family members off yesterday. From what I can tell, it was a shock to them, but then losing a job (even if we're assured it's only temporary) is traumatic. So one set of shocking events, piled upon others, shows us that this is not just a passing, one-off experience. It's a time when the ongoing ramifications of the world coping with a major crisis, is having a series of ongoing events.

We cannot cope with all that at once, and remain healthy. What we can do today, is figure out what our priorities and needs are. From there we can begin to come up with a creative way of taking care of ourselves and our families. We can begin to take better care of ourselves so we stay healthy and strong. We can begin to make a a few changes and plans for how we can create a less stressful day-to-day living style given the uncertainty. Today let's take shelter from the storm that seems to be raging around us, and set aside some time to get creative about how we're going to cope.


Those who meditate with me are familiar with what I call our three tools. Anywhere we are and at anytime, we have these three tools with us to help us cope: Our Body, Our Brain, and Our Breath.
Our bodies are full of information and they are the vehicle which we use to do what we do.

Our Bodies. Taking care of our physical health includes our emotional health, our physiological functions (digestion, mobility, flexibility, pain, circulation, strength, etc.) and our hygiene and appearance. Yesterday I caught sight of myself in a mirror, and thought, "Jeez, I look like a char woman." It motivated me to make taking care of my hygiene and appearance more important than I have been. If you've been overly conscious of appearance, you might be at the point of wanting to let go of all the demands for a while. We need to strike that happy medium, so give yourself some time to ponder the physical. And that physical include your surroundings.

Let's start with the physical today. For the remainder of the week I'll share some thoughts on Brain health and resources as then how to use Breath/Prana, the Universal life force to help cope with change, uncertainty, and well being.

Coping With Trauma

"There is no timestamp on trauma. There isn't a formula that you an insert yourself into to get from horror to healed. Be patient. Take up space. Let your journey be the balm."  --Dawn Serra

"Trauma creates change you do not choose. Healing creates change you do choose."
 --Michele Rosenthal

"Sometimes it's okay that the only thing you did today was breathe." --Yumi Sakagawa

Inspiration

• Music-Seeking Shelter from the Storm
• Poetry-"I Find It Shelter to Speak to You."  Emily Dickenson. 
• Art-Caves are places where we humans have long sought shelter. Even in our darkest times, we create beauty, we create art.
• Religious and Spiritual Practices. Spiritual traditions are rich with practices, rituals, guidelines, inspiration to support us through troubling times. How do your practices support, nourish and inspire you? 
• Service- How can I serve others, given the limitations of living apart?  One suggestion would be to write letters or postcards, and send them to five friends. A simple gift of yourself to connect and inspire others can help. There are many opportunities available now, so think about what you might like to do? 

Whatever you do today, let it be enough. Let your day include time for rest, proper hygiene and nutrition, and some time to simply dilly dally. Play some games, work on a puzzle, read, dance, bake a cake, or do nothing. Find ways to bring your body, mind, spirit, and emotions into a peaceful place right where you are. Make a list if it helps. Tear the list up if it doesn't. Relieve yourself of the shoulds, and be present with the gifts of this moment.